I'm sorry for sleeping with him. I have always hated cheaters for the pain they cause, the selfishness...then I became one. The deadbeat was using the kids he abandoned, my world, as a weapon so I used sex as a weapon. It was the only way I could think of to stop him. Up until that point he was not even on my radar. I would do anything for them and I'm so sorry that that ended up meaning hurting you. You didn't deserve it. I will always appreciate how you helped me. Everyday I think about what I did and it breaks my heart, and the pain is palpable. It's not me. My apologies will never mean a thing I know but I wish I could tell you how ashamed and sorry I am. It is by far the worst thing I've ever done.