"I'm Most Sorry for... Pushing People Away."

I'm most sorry for... Pushing people away. I push and push and push until they want nothing to do with me. I'm sorry I can't tell them that the reason I'm pushing is not them, but me. I push because I hate myself, not because I hate you. That's what I want to say, but I've never been good at that. So I'm sorry I hate me, and hate that no matter how hard I seem to try I can't like myself, or even love. And it stops me from living to the fullest.